Why can’t we love again?
Do you remember the first time we met? It was early winter. It was the first time we were meeting after bumping into each other numerous times in parties. Do you remember that breeze? Wasn’t it glorious? The weather had made sure to leave nothing to chance. And we found many things which were akin, and gave a sense of belonging. But more than that, don’t you think it’s our uncanny-ness which brought us together? Weren’t we respecting each other’s thoughts? Then what went wrong?
Remember that late evening razzmatazz? It was a chilly evening. And you held me close for the first time. I clearly remember smelling your hair. They looked nice, as always, cascading like a sequenced waterfall. I could feel the warmth of your body when you held my hand. You were feeling cold, and I was feeling good. There ought to be something out of this, I gasped. And you looked into my eyes, and thanked me for the lovely evening. The pleasure was always mine! Weren’t we liking each other’s warmth? Then what went wrong?
Remember that initial hitch? We were going places, but not going around. Every possible romantic restaurant had we discovered. There weren’t any more roads left laden with canopies and flowered by The Royal Poinciana. Still we loved to meet every day. Never that we got bored. The passion was just too much. We couldn’t stop speaking. Speaking out. Listening. Analyzing. Fantasizing. Playing. Dreaming. And then you leaned one day on my shoulder. I kept driving, though my eyes were stuck on you. Weren’t we craving for each other? Then what went wrong?
Remember those long walks. Those moonlit nights. Those bonfire symphonies. Those romantic duets. Those rolling up on the grass. Those stupid fights over anything and everything. Those ends to the fights with you kicking me and then kissing to make up. That laughter of mine and you getting furious and again kicking me. And then seriously injuring me. Do you remember those photographic moments? Those stars and full moons. Those splashing whilst it rained. Those getting dried up together. Those hugs after getting emotional about the day and the time we spent together. Weren’t we getting close to each other? Then what went wrong?
Remember that first brush? When you kept your hand on my lap. And I held your hand, just like that, as I said then. You too were enjoying my touch. You tightened your fist, and I followed suit. There was a sign. Though we knew it, we were too shy to follow those signs. But nevertheless, we enjoyed it. And then one day, while leaving, you brought forward your hand, and I kissed on the back of your hand, saying that you offered it that way. Tell me frankly; didn’t you kiss your hand after that? I kissed my hands after holding your hands, as I could feel them for a long, long time. Weren’t we getting addicted to each other? Then what went wrong?
Remember that first peck. You were looking into my eyes. And I blinked, and it made you laugh. You laughed more than it seemed funny. And I loved that, seeing you laugh like crazy. And I then grabbed you by your waist. You knew what was coming, but didn’t flinch any facial muscle. And I pecked on your cheek. You closed your eyes, and I gathered the guts to kiss you on your lips. Wet lips which always looked inviting. Finally we kissed. It was surreal. We kissed for a long time. Then kept mum for a good one hour! And then again we kissed. We could taste each other! Weren’t we celebrating our relationship, our cravings, and our fondness! Then what went wrong?
Remember those first few stumbling words, which you’d remember all throughout your life? We knew we were prepared for it, but couldn’t tell each other. We never knew we could be so shy when together! And then, as I stammered and said, I want to ask you something, and you looked into my eyes and confidently answered, yes I do. I took you in my arms, and you hugged me tight. I knew this would be beginning of a lifelong companionship, and you knew as well, that this will be forever, the relationship. Weren’t we looking out for a permanent way out? Then what went wrong? Why can’t we love again?